I had this history teacher in 10th grade-- Mrs. Stanescu. She was one of the best kind of teachers--really tough, but incredibly inspirational at the same time. But I always thought that she was a little wacky. Maybe it was all the cans of lemon-flavored Nestea that she drank... either way, she was unique. Mrs. Stanescu always called tests "opportunities to express knowledge." Somehow it never made the tests any easier. We would be sitting there at the beginning of class freaking out over our impending doom and she would say..."It's not a test. It's an opportunity to express knowledge. If you have the right knowledge, you should be just fine." That never gave me much comfort, but it did put the responsibility for my performance where it belonged....on me.
So here I sit... seventeen years, one husband and two kids later, contemplating our life's circumstances. We just finished our second year in Texas, sixteen hours from family. And it has been a huge adjustment for us (meaning me). From the big things, like adjusting to holidays and birthdays spent "just the four of us," to the little things like learning how Alabama Mexican food and Texas Mexican food are nowhere near the same! Life has certainly been different. Not completely better or completely worse...just really, really different.
Add to the mix two adorable preschoolers... In it's simplest form, our life is one big ball of blessings and stress! I have decided that nothing makes you doubt your capabilities quite as much as having kids. But at the same time, I have never learned so much about myself, what is important to me and who I want to become. We have two little boys. Sam is 4 years old and Stephen is 2. Everyday dawns with it's own unique set of challenges. Keith and I have committed to raising the boys in a Christ-centered home...as much as we possibly can. On that front, some days definitely go better than others.
Our most recent challenge came in May 2007 when Sam was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Although we refuse to let his diagnosis define who he is, to some degree, his early intervention treatments and therapies do define the patterns of our days. He has made tremendous progress in a very short time and we are so very thankful. But we are at the beginning of a lifelong journey, helping Sam become all God intends him to be.
So, where does Mrs. Stanescu fit into all of this? She taught me that successfully facing life is all about having the right perspective. These trials in my life are not "tests." They are "opportunities." I have to confess that I have spent the last three months completely crabby. I was frustrated and angry, especially at God. I wanted some stability and all I seemed to get was more big adjustments, frustrating jobs, financial stress, anguish over Sam's diagnosis, seemingly impossible attempts to balance his treatment with regular life, and on and on my pity list would go. So after awhile, I gave into despair. And I kept thinking, "what did we do to deserve all this craziness?!?" But as frustration gradually gave way to surrender, God showed me that everything in my life, the exciting and the terrifying, are just "opportunities" to trust him. And more importantly, they are opportunities to praise him for his faithfulness.
So today, I praise him for my amazing husband and the closer bond that we have developed because we are "on our own" in Texas. I praise him for the new friends we have made that strenghten my faith and encourage my heart. I praise him for financial strain that has taught us that he is faithful to provide all that we need. I praise him for the frustrating jobs that have taught me to trust in His plan and his timing. I praise him for two precious boys that are "fearfully and wonderfully made"...just they way they are. Lastly, I praise Him for being patient and loving as I learn to let go of things that are beyond my control.
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