Looking like a mom...

I went to get a haircut this week. After all of the sun and chlorine this summer, it was definitely time. I can always tell when it is time for a haircut because I stop wearing my hair down. After 2 consecutive weeks of ponytails, I finally relented and started making phonecalls.

Since we moved to Austin, I have not had my haircut by the same person twice. I just haven't found the right person yet. So haircuts are always an adventure for me. This time, it took awhile to find someone who didn't charge $65...but eventually, I was set to go. I dropped the boys off at school and headed on over.

Things were going along pretty well until it was hair styling time. Normally, I have to fight the "you have beautiful curly hair, you should never straighten it" battle. Drives me nuts! It is my hair...I prefer it not to be all over the place, therefore I do not wear it curly. End of story. Straighten it or I will take your tip home with me and straighten it myself.

This particular stylist wanted to make it completely straight....seriously, not a bend or curl anywhere. That's fine with me. I don't prefer to look like Pat Benatar, but I understand that I can just wash it out. Okay, whatever...let's go.

So obviously this takes FOREVER...she dried it completely and then straightened it with a CHI in one inch sections. No problem. I relax with my Martha Stewart Living magazine, all the while dreaming of how I, too, could have a perfect house with perfect holiday parties if I had a staff of 300!

Anyway, she gets done and asks me if I like it. I tell her it's different, but good. And then it happens.

She says, "Look at you! You don't even look like a Mom anymore!"

For some reason, this flew all over me! So I said, "But I am a mom. What's wrong with looking like a mom?" She grew quiet and looked at me like I was completely hopeless.

Here's the thing... I am a mom. I am proud to be a mom. And I have come to the realization over the last few years that my children are my life's work. Even when I go back to teaching, my children will still be my life's work. You see, I never thought I would want to stay home. I thought that it would feel like prison. But then I took one look at my newborn son and every moment just seemed so precious...every decision so important.

Granted, there are definitely times that I miss teaching. There are days when I miss that feeling of gratification you get from being a professional. I was good at my job! It was "my thing" and I was a great teacher! Some days I miss that feeling... Dressing up, going to work, feeling tangibly useful.

Now, as far as clothes go, I am clearly not a fashion diva. But I wasn't before I had children either. There are days when I would love to dress up, but strappy sandals just aren't practical at the playground. Most of my clothes are pretty simple, probably even boring to some, but I am okay with that.

It makes me sad that the world frowns upon being "just a mom" or looking "like a mom." But I used to do it,too. And there are days when I know that I am not as good at parenting as I was at teaching high school. But that may be because parenting is a thousand times harder than teaching high school!

The truth is, I am a full-time mom. So every day, I get up and do the job that I never thought I would want. And I am amazed by the experience. It is so hard! But I find that it draws me closer to the God who gave me my children...the same God I can't make it through the day without..the very same God who will hold me accountable for how these little ones turn out.

So I refuse to apologize to this world for being a mom....or looking like one.